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Men’s Fitness
January 2004 (cover story)
JESSE JAMES, AMERICAN BADASS
The star of TV’s ‘Monster Garage’ talks trash
By Andrew Vontz
Like any good outlaw biker, Jesse James’ body is covered in tattoos including a self-explanatory piece on his right palm that reads ‘Pay the $ Sucker.’ But it would save all of the would-be tough guys in the world a lot of trouble if James, 34, just threw down a few bucks and had American Badass tattooed across his forehead. His gigs as host of the Discovery Channel’s Monster Garage and the creator of the West Coast Choppers custom motorcycle fabrication shop and clothing line have made him famous. His handcrafted bikes go for up to $250,000 a pop and in his rare free time he kicks it with celeb clients like Kid Rock. The dangerous duo’s exploits have included a bike trip across Mexico.
Before he was a star, he was a high school All American football player and later a bodyguard for bands including Soundgarden, Danzig, Slayer, and Tiffany. Yes, Tiffany. These days James is a fitness freak and dedicated family man with three kids and a menagerie of adorable pitbulls and pet sharks, but you better pray you never run into him when he’s seeing red. Especially if your name is Troy Zuccolotto. Like the legendary hell-raising desperado of the same name who is James’ distant blood relative, Jesse James has been a rough and tumble warrior since the day he was born.
Just like the old west outlaw, you’re a cocky guy and there are a lot of people out there that hate you. What’s your response to that?
I think it’s funny. I’ve always been an asshole but it’s just become public knowledge. People are like, you think you’re a rock star? I’ve always been a rock star but it just took people a while to get it.
Who’s more of a badass—you or the real deal Jesse James?
The real Jesse James without a doubt. There’s documented proof that he was a bad motherfucker.
|How good are you with a six shooter?
I’m better with an automatic than a revolver.
You prefer an automatic?
Uh (he reaches in his desk drawer and pulls out two guns), a pocket Mustang for my front pocket and an HK USP 40 caliber for my back pocket.
When did you get in your first fight?
I was probably six or seven. It was with this fucking asshole kid named Steven that lived down the street from me. We took our belts off and had a fight with our belt buckles. My dad had a bullwhip so I went in the house and grabbed the bullwhip and wrapped it around his neck and held him on the ground and choked him.
That’s pretty intense. Ever get your ass handed to you?
I can honestly say I’ve never been beaten up. Sometimes when you’re kicking someone’s ass you can see them give up. I’ve never given up. I always let people hit me first. It just makes me pissed. It’s good to see their eyes get all big. I hate when I get that pissed that I know I’m going to beat someone’s ass. I try to avoid that.
What’s the last thing that made you feel that way?
\It just happened a few weeks ago behind the shop. We were doing a photo shoot and some trucker threw a rock at the photographer’s Navigator and put a big old dent in it. The guy said get the fuck out of here, this was his town. The last time I checked Long Beach was my town. I went over there and started kicking on all the trucks to see which one he was in and he came out with a screwdriver all squirrelly eyed. He was getting ready to take a poke and boom! I let him have it. Thirty cop cars showed up. They were like, are you sure he had a screwdriver? I was like, yeah, go back there. They go back there and he was still out laying there with a screwdriver in his hand.
I’ll have to remember to keep all of my tools in my bag. So you and Kid Rock are tough guys, yeah?
He’s tough. He talks tough. I guess I act tough.
So why did you need the Mexican army guiding you on your bike trip through Mexico?
They were cool. A lot of the guys ride bikes and are in a club called the Centados. They knew who I was and Kid Rock and we just hung out. It was good to go somewhere where no one knows who you are.
When you’re out on your bike, what do you think about?
Killing people or people I want to kill. Who I should kill.
Who do you want to kill lately?
His name’s Troy Zuccolotto and he’s still the number one person on my list of people that I’ll fuck up if I see them. He’s Mr. California. He was a counselor in California youth authority when I was a kid and he was a fucking asshole. He was all 'roided out and I was a big kid, probably fifteen, sixteen. They used to play flag football out in the yard and he would go in there and just mow over these little stoner kids, fully fuck them up. Until I got there. Two other guards were there watching and they looked away. I was playing fullback and he was playing middle linebacker and I lowered my shoulder and put him right on his back. He got up and threw the ball at me as hard as he could and broke my nose. It was on. I fuckin’ went after him swinging and clocked him and the guards put me in isolation for a month. I told myself that if I ever saw him again. . . He fuckin’ knows I hate him too.
When you got into building bikes was staying in shape important to you?
I work seven days a week, 12-hour days minimum. I couldn’t do it if I wasn’t working out.
What kind of workouts are you doing?
Bench, back, legs, shoulders, arms five days a week and one day just cardio. I don’t do a lot of supersets. I do four or five sets of six or eight with probably 70% of my max. I like to have good range of motion and good form more than being super strong. As far as my job, running these hammers and stuff like that, sometimes I’m straining so much to hold on to the metal that I don’t see how someone could do it if they weren’t really strong. My back days are pretty gnarly because I always do stiff-legged deadlifts. They bring me right to the brink of barfing every week because it’s just such a big body movement that it makes you heave a little bit.
Have you ever actually puked?
Oh yeah. I never eat before I go to the gym. It’s probably happened five or six times.
You mentioned that diet is important. Have your habits changed over the years?
I’m usually so busy that I can’t stop and eat so I pound Myoplex. I’ll be working for like four hours and have to piss and I won’t stop to pee, so I’m sure as hell not going to stop to eat. Man, and Carl’s Jr. number fours. The front side of it is really good, it tastes good to eat a burger and fries but the next day or night after it makes you feel like crap. My stomach is pretty lean now and it’s been leaner—I’ve had a full washboard stomach, but fuck man, I was starving. I think right around 200, 205 pounds is my best weight.
What do you weigh now?
About 207. There’s a fine line between being really healthy, working out, staying in shape, living long, and looking okay or if you want to look like some fitness model and be fucking miserable. Fuck that, let’s go eat some sushi.
How much do you bench?
Before my shoulder surgery I probably did around 400, 415, Now I could probably do 300 if I pushed it.
Is your muscle all about utility or do you sometimes find yourself posing down in front of the mirror?
It’s all about utility. I’m the biggest pussy when it comes to curls. I’m all about triceps because that’s your strength muscle and your bicep doesn’t do shit. I like to feel strong and be strong not shave down and do fucking curls in the mirror.
When they bring the new Monster Garage teams in to you can you spot the pussy that’s not going to be able to keep up with the schedule?
No, but I have the best asshole detector on earth. There was a guy on the team last week that was an asshole on the first day. I could tell he came on there to give me shit or tell me a thing or two and I just stayed away. It’s a
test for me because I don’t even know what they do or where they’re from or what their names are until the day of the build.You like it that way?
If I’m going to pick I’m going to pick all ringers who can finish it. I’m not going to pick shitheads.
Mike Modano of the Dallas Stars hockey team put together this question:
For my 1,000th goal, Dallas Stars' owner Tom Hicks gave me a custom Chopper with the Stars' logo and my number on it. What's the sweetest custom bike you've ever seen?
Not yours. My new one. He’s a fag. He’s always crying to the refs all the time when someone hits him or gets close to him or whatever.
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