Drinks With Cypress Hill        

By Andrew Vontz

 

TILL DEATH (OR TEQUILA SHOTS) DO US PART

ROUND 1: Cervezas y Tequila Shots

B: In ’93 when we had tremendous bus parties on tour, just gettin’ ripped from city to city. This chick was asking for a light. As she was leaning into the light her fuckin’ hair caught on fire for a second. That had to be the craziest shit I saw. And Muggs used to like to head butt people back then.

M: It was all in the name of love.

B: He’d have a bottle of Jack right? And before he would get you he’d say ‘Head butt!’ And then boom!

M: Crack your head open. Smokin’ Grooves was like a frat tour. I don’t remember shit. George Clinton was on one of the tours and we was eatin’ mushroom honey all fuckin’ tour. I have posters at my house that say we did ‘em and I have the tour stickers and everything, but I don’t remember none of the three years.

 

ROUNDS 2, 3, 4: Tequila Rocks Baby

B: Groupies have to go through three or four guys to get the lead guy. And eventually never get to the lead guy because the lead guy don’t want her by then. There was this chick trying to follow the tour around and the crew guys had got to her.

M: They was promisin’ her she would get it if she just gave it to them first.

B: They said she had given them blowjobs all over the place. One of the other rappers on tour ended up hanging with her at the end of the night The last thing we saw was the dude fuckin’ lip locking her man. French kiss, tongue action, the whole shot. That had to be the most disgusting thing I’ve seen.

M: With groupies it’s like don’t you have any fuckin’ self pride? Nobody promised you nothin’ but a dick.

 

ROUNDS 5, 6, 7: Tequila Again? Damn.

B: I don’t get drunk so much because I don’t like spinnin’. I’ve been close to pissin’ myself but never shittin’ myself. That’d be terrible.

FHM: You’ve never woken up with a mushy brown surprise?
B: Thank God no. If that ever happened it’d be time to stop.

M: At the Marley place in Florida Damian (Marley) was going toke for toke. It was a draw at the end of the day. He’s a pedigree when it comes to the ganja but we got them ghetto lungs boy. We’re used to smoking blunts and schwag weed.

B: We’re all mellow dudes

M: B-Real created his own strain of marijuana called Kush. That’s that one-hitter quitter homey, hydroponic steroided up.

 

ROUNDS 9: Tequila! Lights Out!

FHM: Fuck tequila. How ‘bout some good old fashioned gin and juice?

B: When I was seventeen at one of my boy’s houses we were drinkin’ gin and juice like Snoop says. I was fucked up the whole next day—it was probably the last time I ever had any drop of gin in my fuckin’ body man.

FHM: Too bad. FHM is passing out now. Do be gentle. . .

M: We don’t play that dumb fucking practical games shit and spit on each other when we’re sleeping, draw shit on people’s faces because we’ll fight about some shit like that.

 

Cypress Hill’s new Album Till Death Do Us Part is out now (will be at time of pub. . .)

 

THE FHM BOOZE-O-METER
B-REAL: Tres cervezas  y nueve Patron shots

 

DJ MUGGS: Tres  cervezas  y nueve Patron shots
FHM: Dos Cervezas, siete Patron shots, y un gin y juice

FACT CHECK INFORMATION

CONTACT: Christina Jokay, 310-346-0408.
TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEWS WITH DJ MUGGS AND B-REAL

 

 

So Muggs you traveled to Prague huh? They have the best porno. What was your wildest experience there?

 

 

We was in Prague. Not with the porno man. We was just sitting in a little pub out there. A bunch of English soccer players just happened to be out there doing chants all night. We was smoking apple tobacco out the hookas all dizzy drinking pint after pint after pint. I was with the tour manager and Senn Dog.


Who’s the biggest drinker?
Senn Dog is the biggest drinker by far. He don’t stop until the lights come out and then he starts over. He’s a master of disaster tossin’ it up. We just came from Australia and Senn Dog will let you have it. He’ll start with beers early in the day, have beers for dinner. Getting to the evening start on the spirits and lets it rip. Next thing you know he’s out on the dance floor doing his thing.


Does he ever embarass you?
Nobody can embarass me.


What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen him do?

We don’t do stupid shit you know what I mean. None of us do stupid shit. We don’t play all that dumb fucking practical games shit and spit on each other when we’re sleeping, draw shit on people’s faces because we’ll fight about some shit like that. We don’t play around. We get real festive and real fun.


Has anyone ever tried to play practical jokes on you?
No, we’ve got a common respect for each other. We don’t get down like that.

 

You’ve been together for 15 years.  What’s the most insane partying that you’ve ever done as a group?

 

Almost twenty. The first album came out in 1991 but we’ve been together since we was kids. Our lives our crazy. It seems normal to us. Let me think man. That’s a hard one. We’ve been through some things boy. One time we was on tour and some of my boys got in a fight with some security guards in the venue. All of the sudden like fifty security guards come running up to our bus with big metal poles and start breaking all of the windows out the busses and shit. The bus driver’s trying to drive away and all the windows are broken out. That was in England about ten years ago. One of the securities got beat up by one of our little dudes and they were big football players. I don’t think they liked that too much so they ran in the back room and came out with the sticks, know wha’I mean? That bus got tore up but they ended up having to pay for the bus. Nothing happened to us. We stayed in their hometown for another day and we was like whatever.

 

What’s the most intense partying you’ve ever done?

 

A little bit of this, a little bit of that, know what I mean? Drinking some beers, having some ganja, drinking some mushroom tea in Amsterdam. The first couple of times we went to Amsterdam just seeing the stuff in the cafes and being able to smoke like you’d have an afternoon drink here you know what I mean? Some shroom tea, some shots of Jack Daniels. We just laughed. Everything was funny. We clowned. Last time we was doing that in Amsterdam we stole golf carts and was driving all around the building and through the crowd. Security’s chasing us trying to find the golf carts we stole.

 

What did people do when they saw you driving around?

 

They was laughing at us. We was dying. Our stomachs was hurting we was laughing so hard. People was laughing and pointing. We was honking and telling motherfuckers to get the fuck out the way before they get run over.

 

Who was the craziest golf cart driver?

 

It was one of our homboys that was with us. His name is Fred Rick.

 

What did he do?

 

What didn’t he do.  He was going down stairs, going through people, going over people’s feet, whatever it took.

 

That’s a good attitude to have. ‘You Never Know’ is about your gangster history. What kind of drinking did you used to do with your gang?

 

No the song is basically about you never know what could happen next. You never know what could happen now. It’s basically about that.

 

Back in the day did you ever have any legendary bouts of drinking?
We would just sit outside and drink six, seven forties a night. Forty ounces of Old English, 8 Ball, Michelob, the Bull, Colt .45, Billy Dee Williams, you know what I mean? It was ninety-nine cents at the store and you get a big forty ounce so we’d just kill forty ounces.

 

 

When you were younger what was the most violent thing you did growing up?

 

I don’t know. Mean or violent?

Both.
We used to do everything, terrorize kids, beat up kids, swing cats by the tail and throw them up in the air. It was just stupid little kid stuff when you’re ten, eleven twelve. You look back and think damn, that was fucked up but it was fun as hell when you was doin’ it. Your boundaries ain’t really set yet when you’re a kid.


Were you involved in gangs at all?
Naw. I moved from New York out here. There was a hustler culture where everybody was about getting your money so when I came out here everybody just wanted to sit around and gang bang and it didn’t make sense to me. I was about coming up. We hanged out in all the same places. All my friends was gang affiliated but I never felt a need to claim a gang you know what I mean.

 

Let’s talk about Stop the Gunshot. When have you faced people with guns in real life and what happened.

 

We’ve had guns pulled on us numerous times. We’ve had people shoot at us on Cypress Avenue just letting ‘em rip. It would just happen whenever when you least expected it. The song is a story B-Real wrote of a real life situation when he was gang banging when he went on his first mission and that’s what the song’s about. It’s like the wild wild west out here. It’s a shoot ‘em up. When they start inflicting the pain boy the pain don’t stop.

 

Do you remember being scared when people pulled guns?
More like oh shit! Not panic and a dead fear. More like, oh fuck. We must have had divine force on our side because things always blew over for us in the midst of all the adversaries we had at those moments. Motherfuckers really can’t shoot straight. You can go to a gun club and go from here to that glass there and miss the target. In real life people have a gun and think they can shoot. Shit, that’s harder than you think. You’re shooting all the fuck over the place.

 

 

Have you ever carried guns?
Yeah we carry guns.

 

 

Do you have one on you?

 

Not in my pocket.


What do you carry?
A .380 when I’ve gotta walk around with it. If not I’ll keep something else in the car stashed away.


You ever had occasion to use those?

Times when you thought it was about to go down you was ready but it never came down to that situation. I wouldn’t even need to pull nothin’ out. I got people that do that. I’m the moneymaker here. I keep the economy flowing for everybody in my circle so everybody has their purpose. You don’t see George Bush running around fighting the wars in Iraq do you? He gots a team for that. We got our own team for that. But we keep a little something something just in case we’re rolling with our wives or childrens and five or six little teenagers wanna get excited and think they wanna car jack you or something. We don’t wanna be a statistic or a news article. That’s the only reason we would consider having a weapon with us. We carry them legally in the trunk, keep the bullets in the glove compartment locked up. We’re not dumb.

 

 

You worked with Marley’s son Damian on Smoke It Up. What was his bud like?

 

 

It’s like the Arnold Schwarzennegar of weeds. Fools used to lift weights before that and weigh like 190. When Frank Zane won Mr. Olympia he weighed 190. Now fools are going in weighing 270, 280. It’s scientific, genetically-enhanced marijuana to the tenth power.


What do you like about getting stoned?
Powering down at the end of the day. Had a nice hard day, work. Just want to chill and get into a flick, just let go. You’re in control so much being on top of so many enterprises we control. Sometimes you just let yourself go and drift into an altered state of reality, be it a book or movie.

 

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever made a pipe out of.

 

We’ve made pipes out of cans and apples and pieces of aluminum foil bent up, aluminum foil on cups like this. I’ve smoked out of chalices made out of different car parts and water bongs but I don’t try to get all freaky. I just keep it simple. So much shit over the years. On tour whenever we show up to a city someone is going to show up with something freaky. What the fuck is this? Everybody’s always gotta show up with 2 or 3 ounces of weed they wanna smoke with us and some weird contraption. You know what freaked me out at the beginning. What was those things called D? The vaporizer. The first time I seen it I was like what the hell is that? You know what I mean? I’ve never got so damn stoned before in my life. That’s like a whole other level. It’s too much. I’ve gotta talk to people. I got things to do. That shit will really have you stuck.

 

What’s the drunkest you’ve ever been?

 

About a hundred times. You know I never blacked out from drinking before.  A lot of times I thought people was full of shit when they said they blacked out from drinking. I’ve got toasted man know what I mean, just wilding out drinking shots of tequila, drinkin’ bottles of Patron on ice you don’t even taste it. It goes down smooth.

 

Is there anything in particular that pops out?

 

Yeah, celebratin’ the toilet, hulrin all day, headache, don’t even wanna talk, just tryin’ to find that one way to sit up or lay down that doesn’t hurt your head.

 

When was the last time that happened to you?

 

I haven’t had a hangover in like two years. I don’t drink like that. I watch myself now know what I mean? I watch myself now. Now it’s more like two, three, four drinks I’m cool. Except the night before New Years we drank a bottle of Patron but I didn’t have a hangover the next day. You just chase it with water. Drink straight tequila and chase it with water. I think that eliminates the whole hangover factor. If you’re drinking a lot of water along with straight liquor and no Coca Cola, no sugar added with it, I find that to be hangover proof.

 

What’s the weirdest place you’ve gotten high?

 

We were in Canada one time and we had an ounce of weed. There were four of us. We couldn’t smoke it in the hotel cause of the alarm and the laws at the time where we was. We just went in the bathroom and smoked the whole fuckin’ ounce in the bathroom for three, four hours and we was just tellin’ stories and just wildin’ out. Fuck it. We’ll just blaze it up in here since we can’t blaze in the room. That was wild. It was funny as shit though.

 

Wow. That’s a lot.  Have you ever gotten someone really high and they totally freaked out?

 

We was in Brazil one time and the lady from the label was like I’m gonna get you some really good weed, I’m gonna bring you back some really good weed. So she brings us this weed. She goes, this is the best. And we smoke the shit and it was some bunk backyard shit. We were like this is the best? Whatever. So she smoked it. She goes, bye, I’ll pick you guys up later. So she’s walking to the door, we just hear DOONK! We look and we just see legs stickin’ out of the closet. She fell, boom, into the closet. She didn’t hit nothin’ though luckily. So we picked her up. She sat on the bed and said I’m fine. She sat up and started convulsing and her eyes started rolling and then she sat up again and goes I’m fine. And then she started doing it again and we was like, whoa. I guess she had low blood pressure or something. I don’t know what happened. And then she freaked out for a minute and then she got it together and got something to eat and she was fine the next day but that was a little wild.


Who is the biggest partier you’ve ever rolled with?

One of the best times I would have to say is my homeboy Block. Partied like it’s 1999.


Where were you?
Where wasn’t we? He’s been all through Europe with us, South America. He’s a photographer that does video. He goes on the road and documents our stuff, does video footage. Just blazin’, smokin’, tequila, havin’ a festive time. You come out to some spots out here everybody wants to sit in the fuckin’ corner and be quiet. But when we celebrate life we let everybody know we’re living. You know what I mean?

 

What kind of partying went down on the Smokin’ Grooves tour?

 

Smokin’ Grooves was like a frat tour kind of. There was like fifteen of our homeboys. We brought our homeboys with us and we was in the bus wildin’ out day after day. We did three years in a row. That was almost our tour. We was just doin’ it big boy.

What’s your favorite memory from that tour?
I don’t remember shit. That’s how hard we was partyin’ boy. I have posters at my house that say we did ‘em and I have the tour stickers and everything, but I don’t remember none of the three years.

 

How do you remember what the fuck you’re doing when you’re that baked?
George Clinton was on one of the tours and we was eatin’ mushroom honey all fuckin’ tour. You take the shrooms and you grind ‘em up in a coffee grinder and you put ‘em in the honey and you just take tea spoons. We was eatin’ shrooms all summer. Had a good time.

 

 

But how do you remember anything?

 

It’s easy. The stage is kind of like driving. It’s like your subconscious taking control because you’re so used to doing it over and over. It’s not a conscious thing at this point. Your subconscious takes control and knows exactly what it needs to do and where it needs to be.

 

Any chance I can get you to do a shot of vodka?
No. We can fake it though.

 

 

Out of all the groups you’ve toured with who are the biggest partiers?
George Clinton is one of ‘em.

 


What does George like to do?
Yep. (laughs) Most rap groups like to smoke weed and drink. That’s the extent of it.

 

Has anyone surprised you out on the road?
We’ve found out about a few kids here and there that was smokin’ crack. We find out later on you know what I mean? And some kids doin’ some other kinds of pills, people you wouldn’t ever imagine doing ‘em.

 

 

You wanna name names?
One time we went to Canada and we had to stash our weed in a hotel room before we went to Canada because you can’t bring it across the border. One of the crew guys stashed a bunch of other shit in there besides weed. One of the maids was cleaning the room and she finds some shit in the room. So they call and think it’s our shit. We find out it’s one of these fuckin’ road guys with us that was supposed to just stash the weed stashed a bunch of other shit in there. He fessed up and we got it taken care of but that was a little much at the time.

 

 

How was your Woodstock experience?

 

We didn’t do the one Limp Bizkit did. We did the one before that. We stayed about an hour away across the river, flew in. We walked around in that mud pit for about three hours. It was mud, people on shrooms and acid and X all over the place. We was call just smokin’ herb but we kept it cool. It was a fuckin’ great day. I’m all for it.


Does anything stick out?

We played in front of 500,000 people. We haven’t done that since we probably won’t do that ever again. Just being on the Woodstock stage and knowing what Woodstock meant to the ‘60s that felt good. The one after that was just about dough but that was a great time.

 

Have you had any encounters with really crazy fans on the road?

 

We run into your regular stalker who will show up at shows, be in front of the hotel room, be at the airport. Like how the hell do you know where we’re at, where we’re stayin’, what flights we’re on? You know what I mean these people just showing up all the time. We don’t got no freaky tales like Britney Spears and all these people got.


Anything ever freak you out?
Naw. We use aliases now so people won’t be just poppin’ up to the room. Most people are too scared to get the shit beat out of them to be fuckin’ around.

 

Does that ever have to happen?

 

Sometimes everybody gotta get checked every now and then to remind themselves that they fucked up.

Can you think of a time that happened?
That happens all the time.


When was the last time that happened?

Probably last week. You’re going to park and they just want to jump in the parking spot in front of you and being rude and starting to curse at you and flippin’ you off and gettin’ out of their car and walking up to you. We’re real humble people. We try to explain the situation and defuse the situation. When they don’t wanna they get a smack and then all of a sudden they’re sorry and they didn’t mean it. The whole song changes you know what I mean.


Where was it?
It was over here at Costco’s.

 

Costco?

 

Shit happens. It’s LA right? Fuckin’ road rage is mad.


What’s the worst road rage you’ve ever had?
People are idiots out here. People wanna hurry up and get in that fuckin’ spot one spot in front of you so they can wait in line for an hour just like you. But the shit they do to get one spot ahead, people lose their fuckin’ minds in LA. And I get a kick out of it man. I’ll do shit now just to tick people off like I’ll act like I’m not lookin’ or maybe act like I’m gonna cut somebody off just to see people freak the fuck out and see these ladies lose it. That shit is the funniest shit to me.

What do they do?
They start screamin’ and flippin’ you off and honkin’ and cursin’. They tailgate you. I think it’s comedy. If you want to be one space up in front of me and I’m this person you don’t know and I’m getting this at you, then boy you must be a tortured person.

 

When was the last time you had to cut your bodyguard loose on somebody?

 

Never had a bodyguard. We don’t roll with bodyguards.

 

When’s the last time you had to beat somebody up?

 

I don’t know. Probably a long time.

 

What about groupies? What do they do to get at you?

 

In the past just stalkers they just can’t let it go you know what I mean?

 

What do they do to get at you?

 

They just start showing up places.


Does it embarrass you?

It’s fucking just annoying. With groupies it’s like don’t you have any fuckin’ self pride? What the fuck you doin’? Nobody promised you nothin’ but a dick. You gave me somethin’ I gave you somethin’ everybody’s happy. Let’s keep it movin’. You know what I mean? And they wanna get stuck and think like they own it or somethin’. You don’t own it. We’re all married with children now but at the time boy. . .

 

Do you have beef with other rappers?

 

Naw. We had a brief beef with Ice Cube. He stole a song of ours. We wrote a couple of songs about each other. He called and apologized and everything has been cool since then.

 

What’s the worst fight you’ve been in?

 

Probably when I was little gettin’ jumped by like ten people gettin’ hit in the head with bottles. When your friends run and leave you to get beat up and you go home bleedin’ you learn a lot of lessons like who your friends are and who to roll with when it’s time to fight. You see who the talkers are and who the walkers are.

 

 

B-REAL

 

 

What’s been your most intense moment of partying in Cypress Hill?
Partying? I think back in maybe like the mid ‘90s we had tremendous bus parties on every tour where we had the bus packed with people, alcohol everywhere, just gettin’ ripped from city to city. It would have to be the mid 90s bus parties.

 

What’s the most fucked up thing you saw happen on those?

 

There was a couple of things but this one chick was asking for a light for a cigarette so I gave her a light but her hair kind of hung forward. As she was leaning into the light her fuckin’ hair caught on fire for a second. I helped her put it out but that had to be the craziest shit I saw. I’ve seen a lot of stuff but that was pretty funny.


What was number two?
Soul Assassins tour 1993 or 4 somethin’ like that these chicks snuck on House of Pain’s bus but on the luggage compartment. One of them had gone down to check one of their bags for something they needed or they would never have known the girls were hiding in the luggage bay. That was another crazy one.

 

What’s the craziest thing a groupie has ever done to get at you?

 

To get at me probably the general one that happens to all groupies is they probably have to go through three or four guys to get to the lead guy. And eventually never get to the lead guy because the lead guy don’t want her by then.

 

MUGGS:
They was promisin’ her she would get it if she just gave it to them first.

 

 

Back to B-REAL

 

You got guys that work for  you and some of those guys just try to get it any way they can. That’s for any band not just for us. Generally you’ve got guys that are working hard and they see beautiful chicks that normally they’re not gonna get so they offer them the easiest way to the band. Not always do they get to the band you know.


What about psycho fans generally? Do you run into crazy people who want to meet you?
There’s a lot of fans that come up with tattoos and stuff. You’ll see Muggs’ Soul Assassin tattoo or a Cypress Hill logo tattoo like this one. Or you’ll have portraits of me, Muggs, and Sen if not all of us together. That’s something we’ve seen a lot of. A lot of people come up with a bunch of artwork. Fortunately our fans have a lot of talent so we get a lot of good shit from our fans.

 

What do you think when you see your face tattooed on a fan?

 

I guess it’s a compliment you know. Some kind of form of inspiration to ‘em otherwise it wouldn’t have affected them that hard to put your face or your whatever that thing is that represents you.


What are the best tattoos you’ve seen out on the road?
Shit. I don’t know man. That’s kind of hard to say. I guess trippers have the best ones on the road I guess.


Did you used to go to a lot of strip clubs?
Back in the day when we started yeah we did when we were young and it was new to us.

 

Did any shit ever go down?
Naw. It was fun times drinking and looking at naked chicks. It’s all good.

 

 

What’s the most fucked up you’ve ever seen your bandmates?

 

I haven’t seen Muggs so drunk. There was a time in ’93 when we were all getting pretty fucked up and Muggs used to like to headbutt people back then.

 

Tell me about it.

 

He’d have a bottle of Jack right? And before he would get you he’d say ‘Headbutt!’ And then boom! crack you with it.

 

MUGGS: Crack your head open. It was all in the name of love.

 

 

Back to B-Real

 

Yeah it was a love tap. And I think I’ve seen Bobo faded many a time, points where he couldn’t perform onstage.

 

What do you do when that happens?
You have somebody take care of them and you know keep on.

 


So is that somebody’s job on the road?
We don’t normally anticipate that one of us is going to be so shitfaced like that. We pretty much all keep it together before the shows but maybe it’s somebody’s birthday or some rare occasion where you’re tossing it up hard. We never really do that before a show but on one particular party day Bobo definitely got ultra-hammered before the show. It was something to see.

 

What’s the drunkest you’ve ever been and what happened?
I don’t get drunk so much. It rarely happens but when it happens it’s maybe ‘cuz I lost track of how many drinks I had or something and I’ve been to the point where I was spinnin’ and fuckin’ just bowed down to the porcelain God. It doesn’t happen much because I don’t like spinnin’. I’ve been to that point where I lost all bearing on everything.

 


You can be honest with me. You ever shit yourself?
Close to pissin’ myself but never shittin’ myself. That’d be terrible. Either way it would be terrible.


You’ve never woken up with a mushy brown surprise?
Thank God no. If that ever happened it’d be time to stop.


What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen happen on the road with these guys?

It’s not so crazy but it’s slightly crazy. Nobody did nothing physically crazy. There was this tour we were on and there was this chick trying to follow the tour around and I guess some of the crew guys had got to her. One of the other rappers on the tour ended up hanging with her at the end of the night. In the morning when everybody was going to their tour bus we were all bunched up on our tour bus. He was on a different tour bus; he wasn’t on ours. We saw him boarding his tour bus with the chick the crew guys had gotten to. They said she had given them blowjobs all over the place. The last thing we saw was the dude who ended up with her at the end of the night fuckin’ lip locking her man. French kiss, tongue action, the whole shot. That had to be probably the most disgusting thing I’ve seen.


What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve done?
I don’t too many disgusting things man. I got a bad conscience so I try to keep disgust to a minimum.


What’s your favorite memory from the Smokin’ Grooves tour?
Just bein’ on it with Public Enemy. Flavor Flav is a fuckin’ ball of energy man, the life of the party. When everybody might be all droopy or thinkin’ about shit too much this dude come in screamin’ ‘Yeah boy!’ and all the other shit that goes with it. It’ll pick you up. You’ll just start laughin’ at that shit.


Did you ever set his clock?
No. I don’t think any of his clocks worked.


When Bobo joined the group did you guys jump him in?
Naw. We just partied him out, taught him how to iron his clothes, and how to roll a joint properly and set him on his way. He’s doin’ alright. He still irons his clothes.  

 

Did you have a big celebration?
Naw. We’re all mellow dudes. I don’t remember what we did to him but we definitely changed his outward appearance to fit more our steel-o than what he was looking like when he was with the Beasties.

 


What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever gotten high?

I don’t know if it’s weird, but probably a movie theater. I’ve done it a few times.

 

Who’s the biggest partier you’ve ever rolled with?
Drinker or smoker or both?

You tell me man.

 

The biggest drinker?  What do you mean like a celebrity or something?

 

Whatever. Could be your pal down the block.

 

My boy Chef Ernie is sight to see when he’s super loaded.


What’s the most fucked up thing you’ve seen him do?
Act like he can dance.


Has anyone done anything truly strange you’ve seen when you’ve been really drunk—fans, other bands, whatever?

I’m not gonna mention some names but this one time this one guitar player from a band that we went on tour with had just gotten married with his wife at the justice of the peace or whatever downtown. They were so fucked up. They were superfaded and they came to this restaurant that we hang out at, the Rainbow bar and grill. They came fucked up faded. They got into a fight and both the guitar player and his wife got beat up. Some chick beat his wife up and some dudes beat him up. They basically had an interesting wedding gift courtesy of the patrons of the rainbow. That’s the craziest thing I’ve seen somebody bring on themselves. I’ve seen drunk people get in fights but to be married and both the husband and wife get their ass kicked on their wedding day, that ranks up there high with the shit I’ve seen.

 

What’s the most hungover you’ve ever been?

 

Probably one time I was probaby fucked up the whole next day, had a headache. I was drinkin’ gin when I was seventeen at one of my boy’s houses. We were drinkin’ gin and juice like Snoop says. I can’t remember what juice. But it was probably the last time I ever had any drop of gin in my fuckin’ body man. Never had it after that.


What happened?
It just gave me the worst headache the next day, felt just awful man. I was spinnin’ the whole next day, from night to the next night.

 

You ever done anything you’ve really regretted when you’ve been fucked up?

 

Naw. I can’t say that I have. I’m pretty on top of the things I do when I’m that fucked up because I don’t want to have to wake up the next day and be like what the fuck did I do?

 

What about generally? Any really strange drinking stories?

 

One time in Germany we were doing the second leg of the Soul Assassins tour, it was going all over Europe. I was in the room with a couple of my partners who were smoking out. Two guys from another band come up and they had been drinking at the bar and they were about to get in a fight with some German guys in there because they thought they were makin’ fun of them in German so they come up, yeah, we’re gonna go and kick some ass down at the bar, there’s these German guys makin’ fun of us. One of them was gettin’ all pumped up and you could see that he was drunk because he was slurrin’ all over the place. We were eatin’ dinner and our dinner was right in front of us on a tray. He walks right in front of us and he’s lookin’ at himself in the mirror and he starts breathin’ hard like he’s pumpin’ himself up and then he headbutts the mirror, boom! The whole mirror comes crashin’ down into our fuckin’ food on the floor. He walks off and he’s like, yeah, I’m gonna go do it and he’s walkin’ back in front of the door and there’s the closet mirror this time. He was lookin’ for that and those fuckin’ things are expensive and I had to stop him.